Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
