If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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