I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
