There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
