the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...