wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!