it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
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Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
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And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You were trust falling into bushes