Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble

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(617): when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble http://tfl.nu/6bym

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(913): View more from Kansas

I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.

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(913): I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America. http://tfl.nu/aex4

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(317): View more from Indiana

Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think

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(317): Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think http://tfl.nu/kspc

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(804): View more from Virginia

just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven

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(804): just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven http://tfl.nu/wd21

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(607): View more from New York

please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already

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(607): please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already http://tfl.nu/5kxb

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(360): View more from Washington

Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.

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(360): Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything. http://tfl.nu/kqmn

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back

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(617): some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back http://tfl.nu/e5xr

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.

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(270): Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband. http://tfl.nu/lfj6

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.

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(321): It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical. http://tfl.nu/ps02

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(573): View more from Missouri

I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite

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(573): I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite http://tfl.nu/v7zy

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(585): View more from New York

Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...

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(585): Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband... http://tfl.nu/78x2

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(88): View more from

As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.

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(88): As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice. http://tfl.nu/ji6g

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)

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(774): I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-) http://tfl.nu/aq14

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(540): View more from Virginia

He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.

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(540): He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever. http://tfl.nu/fmlb

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(410): View more from Maryland

I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'

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(410): I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like' http://tfl.nu/uuvy

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