If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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