just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
