this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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