Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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