what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
