Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
soo... how was my night?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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