it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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