just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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