The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
