JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
