I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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