you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
