I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
