Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize