awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
