im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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