Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
