We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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