somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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