Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
