So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
