I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
