At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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