So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Randomize
