A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize