My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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