WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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