so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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