Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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