her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize