i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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