Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
