My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
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