I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
either way he was missing a nipple.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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