why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
