What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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