I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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