drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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