Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  batman just walked across the sidewalk

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  lay off the drugs

  (630): View more from Illinois

  no for real he was wearing a cape

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  (630): batman just walked across the sidewalk (1-630): lay off the drugs (630): no for real he was wearing a cape http://tfl.nu/eo01
  Replies (15) Good night (4843) Bad night (505)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'

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  (630): there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is' http://tfl.nu/8psl
  Replies (61) Good night (7393) Bad night (794)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  yes

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?

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  (601): ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest? (1-601): yes (601): did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me? http://tfl.nu/1ahx
  Replies (13) Good night (4820) Bad night (864)
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  (518): View more from New York

  woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so

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  (518): woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so http://tfl.nu/1jbm
  Replies (6) Good night (6920) Bad night (534)
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  (718): View more from New York

  We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.

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  (718): We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate. http://tfl.nu/1mwi
  Replies (14) Good night (1189) Bad night (4572)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.

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  (203): The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately. http://tfl.nu/h16j
  Replies (11) Good night (5635) Bad night (893)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.

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  (585): Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven. http://tfl.nu/xlkq
  Replies (9) Good night (6294) Bad night (985)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings

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  (214): More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings http://tfl.nu/n37n
  Replies (14) Good night (2668) Bad night (1262)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well

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  (305): We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well http://tfl.nu/ng2b
  Replies (8) Good night (3150) Bad night (1414)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.

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  (603): I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad. http://tfl.nu/5dfv
  Replies (12) Good night (1222) Bad night (3929)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition

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  (425): the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition http://tfl.nu/w42o
  Replies (11) Good night (4091) Bad night (1023)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused

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  (402): the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused http://tfl.nu/z0he
  Replies (7) Good night (2937) Bad night (598)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father

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  (302): I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father http://tfl.nu/aa2i
  Replies (8) Good night (881) Bad night (294)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.

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  (410): Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface. http://tfl.nu/w1ur
  Replies (7) Good night (2050) Bad night (370)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY

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  (713): I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY http://tfl.nu/5ce4
  Replies (1) Good night (350) Bad night (175)

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