just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list