he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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