hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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