I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
