i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
