Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
