i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
