there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize