That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
