I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The Olympian is in my bed
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