your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
