I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
