You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
