Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
