she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
