Your face is a jimmy john
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
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Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
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I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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