What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
