So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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