just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
