Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
