I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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