You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
